I’m moving in the next few months.
That means finding a new apartment, breaking everything down, packing everything up, and actually getting it moved into the new place. Lots of work, but then, moving always is. Nothing special there.
But I do have some kind of anxiety about it, I think. I dunno if it is only in my own head, or it is something I actually am noticing as being stressful… but there is no arguing that I am worried about it. It’s in my nature, I suppose.
But I am trying my best not to let this high anxiety stop me in my tracks.
I had a really good posting streak going on there for a while: two full weeks of daily posts. While I don’t want a regular schedule on this blog, I do want it to be fairly active… so I was proud of that, on some level. Had I existed in a vacuum, I am sure I would have kept that up forever.
But things got overwhelming last Friday, and I ended up taking the weekend off.
There is a lot of work that goes into these posts: With the title text included, each one is well over 3000 words long… and I try my best to find a bunch of interesting links to pepper throughout the text, which (while not stressful) does take a good amount of time. I’m not complaining; if I didn’t want to put in the work, I wouldn’t do it.
But when things get difficult, I will probably miss a post here or there.
I’d rather do that than burn out on other things, or write sub par posts. Hexo makes maintaining drafts and the site so easy, also, that I don’t expect these breaks to come very often. But they will come.
My truancy did allow me to be productive in areas I otherwise would not have been: I was able to write a new piece of fiction, for instance, because the inspiration hit me at the time. I also got a lot of organization done, even outside of the life work I had to do as well. I took some time out to honor my Aunt on Mother’s Day.And I was able to take some time for myself, to decompress and relax.
Being productive is very important to my emotional well-being when I am stressed out: If I am not getting anything done while dealing with life, then I get depressed… which feeds into itself, because then I don’t want to do anything.
My Aunt always called me a “Human Doing” because of that facet of my personality: I need to be doing something at all time. Just being makes me itchy and nervous. I suppose that hasn’t changed, even while I have come of age… But it means that, if I burn out too fast, then everything hits the fan.
There are a lot of changes coming to my life, soon. I’m sure I’ll share some of them here, and those I do (I hope) will be interesting. But I will also probably miss some days here and there, and I wanted to address it now: I may disappear here and there, but I will almost always be working on something.Categories: life
Tags: productivity  blogging  hexo  life